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These are a set of ATCs (Artist Trading Cards) that I did for a swap last fall. The theme, interestingly enough, was "Fall."

I finished the book. I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to, but I did. I can't say I made a deliberate decision beforehand, but I think I'm glad I did. I had already gotten involved in the characters and knew that Susan Howatch's books always allow for the redemption of the characters I care about. I wanted to see what happened. I noticed almost right away that at the point that I picked it up after not reading it for a couple of days, seemed to be where the main --- offensiveness, I guess --- started to give way to a character's changed life, to the point where he began to trust God, and things started to seem hopeful. I don't know that the end justifies the means here, because parts of the book were very disturbing, but I do believe that it's true to life --- that no matter how far away God seems, no matter how broken our lives are, no matter how bad the choices we've made, God's right there, always ready to take our hands and pull us out of the muck of our situation. He places people in our lives that can help lead us back to Him. We just have to ask.

Love it, love it, love it! Spend a couple of minutes making the pipe-cleaner guy dance.

Thanks, Mike, (and David Bessler, of course)!

I'm afraid I'm going to have to put down a book that I'm currently reading. For good. It's called The Heartbreaker, by Susan Howatch. She's an author that I like immensely; it's extremely well-written, it's interesting, and I care about the characters.

The problem is the plot line. While I'm sure that good will win out over evil in the end, the trip that Howatch takes to get there is rather disturbing. Some of her other books have definitely gotten into issues that I'm not entirely comfortable reading about, but this one seems to go further. Or maybe it's just me and where I am in my spiritual life.

The story centers around a group of characters who have appeared in previous novels, and their mission, so to speak, is to bring Christ into the lives of others who live on the seedier side of modern British life. I have no doubt that the characters and situations are realistic, and perhaps even based on real people, but I just don't want to read about them!

The "heartbreaker" is a straight(???) male prostitute who caters to very high-class, secretly gay men. He's troubled and confused, defensive, bright, articulate, and even likeable, in his better moments, but I feel kind of dirty, I guess, every time I read this story.

In the past, Howatch's novels have always skirted the edge of what's acceptable in society, what goes on behind closed doors, truly delving into the psyches of her very well-developed characters, but this one seems to go farther into the details of a degrading lifestyle of a young man controlled by some very evil people indeed. Maybe this needs to put out there as an instructive example of what kind of evil there is in this world, maybe, but again, I just don't want to read about it.

Why then, you may ask, all my throngs of readers, don't I just quit reading it and go on to the next thing in my stack of library books? Because it's such a good book! Dang it! But something about it doesn't feel right. After I put the book down, I've sometimes thought of the verse:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:7-9

and I don't think this book qualifies! Unfortunately.

Yeah, so I still love my job, but right now I'm feeling kinda low about things. Two of my students came to me after class and told me that they were sorry, but that some of the other students were upset, and didn't like my class, because, in a nutshell, I'm not their previous teacher. They wanted me to know because they don't like the negative attitude of some of the other students. This happens, not only to me, I know, but to other teachers, perhaps with those students who have had me as a teacher, and then have moved on to someone else.

I'm a good teacher. I'm well-trained, certified by the state (for whatever that's worth) and experienced. I have a very relaxed, casual style of teaching, with lots of conversation and vocabulary. I try to make it fun. This is why I do not teach the upper level classes. They are almost exclusively grammar, and that is not where I excel. The problem comes in (for me) when the students have had a previous teacher who is much more traditional in style and technique, and especially if that's what they think school is supposed to be, that's what they want from all their teachers. The problem comes in (for other teachers who inherit my students), when they do exactly the same thing they have done before, which made their students in the past happy. But now their current students think that class should be fun and relaxed and they should have lots of time for unstructured conversation, as well as the grammar and other things necessary for that particular level. So now they're unhappy.

I work with many very good teachers. I don't know the answer to this problem. The worst part of it is that there will be students who don't learn in the class with the new teacher because they are dissatisfied. They roll their eyes at efforts at conversation by other students in the class, or they get bored with just following the book, and are sometimes intimidated by the strictness of the rules; it really doesn't matter what the new teacher does...they're not their first or previous teacher, and therefore will never be good enough.

Sigh...even though this doesn't happen to me often, I know it won't be the last time. I would assume that it happens in other areas of education, as well as in other industries. If one goes to work at a new place, it's hard not to compare people and things, especially if you liked your previous job. That new doctor doesn't listen to us the same way the old one did...I'll never love this car as much as that first one...

I guess it's just a part of life.

How very profound. ;>)

Tomorrow is my thirteenth wedding anniversary. Well, not just mine, but you know what I mean. We celebrated this weekend by going out for meals, lazing around, going to a movie, going to the Heirloom Art and Rubber Stamp show, and watching several things on DVD.

The movie we saw, Keeping Up With the Steins was funny; not hilarious or really outstanding, but cute and entertaining. Being a WASP-y Texan, I may not be the best judge of how accurate the details about this particular culture were, but if the larger culture in the United States has fallen prey to materialism and one-up-manship, why not this one, too? I enjoyed it.

The Art and Rubber Stamp Show was a lot of fun for me, not so much for my husband, but he was awfully good-natured about it. I actually wanted him to go because I have had some interest in producing rubber stamps as a sort of side business, and wanted his input in case I found someone who would talk to me. He is very practical and knowledgeable about business, and I trust his opinions. I had asked a number of people online how they got started designing their own stamp lines, but had gotten very little response. The woman we spoke to was Linda Malcom of Lost Coast Designs. Not only did I love her stamps, but she was so gracious and helpful, I will definitely be a repeat customer. She was very forthright about the competitive nature of the business these days, but not discouraging. Her input and that from others at the show has gotten me rared up, wanting to create, create, create!

I have so many ideas, and have such a hard time getting started implementing them. And then, of course, one of the major themes in my life, I get so easily distracted...

So I will work on that. For now, I'm just thankful for the ideas, the last thirteen years, and a husband I love and admire.

Peace to you.

I love my job. Today I had a class at a hat-making plant. The workers there all speak Spanish, most of them have very little formal education, and they are working very hard at learning English. It's very difficult to explain how to conjugate a verb when some of them can't do that in their own language, but a certain amount of grammar has to be taught.

I've been looking for a little cheapy Loteria game, kind of like Mexican Bingo, and they'd told me a number of places to look, but I had't found one anywhere! So today one of the women who couldn't make it to class sent one by another student. I told them it was for an art project, which caused a few puzzled looks, maybe a shrug or a raised eyebrow here and there, but mostly they just nodded and said,"Ohh..."

I don't know quite what I think about immigration reform, etc., but I do know that the people I work with have a very real desire to learn English. They understand the limitations of not knowing the language, of a poor education, and are absolutely doing whatever they can to provide those opportunities to their children, but are sometimes just not up to it themselves. If you only have a third grade education, you weren't very good at school, or it may have even been a very bad experience, and you work three jobs just to feed your family, who has the energy to go to school?

My students at this plant get to work at 6:00 a.m. every day and work for eight hours, then stay two more hours for English classes twice a week. Many of them, and they are mostly women, work another job, plus take care of their families, and they are extremely grateful for the opportunity to do so. All these students are legal. Some of them love it here and want to stay forever; others miss their homes and extended families and are just here to work.

The older we are, the more difficult is is to learn a second language. It's a fact. I can't imagine going to, say, China, trying to get a job, get my kids enrolled in school, get a driver's license, even go grocery shopping, and not just give up.

Okay, jumping off my soap box now. Perhaps I ought to tell some people I've started a blog...?

I'm trying to be quiet. And it isn't easy.

No, this is no vow of silence, nothing prompted by any kind of bet ("Hey, betcha can't be quiet for 24 hours!"), or any kind of spontaneous idea I've decided to try for a while. I really need to be quiet.

One of the first things I remember anyone saying about me was that I talked too much. And here I am, 45 chatty years later, and it's still what people say about me. Don't get me wrong --- I'm not usually all that concerned about what people think of me. But this is different. I have no doubt that there are people who don't want to be around me because I talk so much...maybe people who screen their calls and only answer when they know they have a substantial amount of time for a conversation with me. There may be people who don't want to read my blog because I write too much!

But I'm willing to take the risk and use this as another outlet for all the thoughts and ideas I feel the need to express. Because it's not fun, trying to change who I am. And it is that much a part of me. I don't know if I can do it. If you believe in prayer, as I do, please pray for me in this endeavor.